What Else Is There?

•August 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

To quote my oldest and dearest friend, “God just slapped me in the face.”

I’ve been making bad decisions all over the place, and they’re beginning to catch up to me.  Not saying I subscribe to the whole theory of karma, but the optimist in me has to believe that doing good things will count for something.  And the optimist in me has been very disappointed in my actions as of late.

Here’s my poor me list of everything that has gone wrong over the past few weeks.

  • Had over $1,000 worth of text books and my collection of shot glasses (23 from all over the world) stolen.
  • Made bad decisions and sprained my knee horribly, leaving me with a terrible limp. Worst timing possible, because
  • I’m moving this week. I packed up everything I own, only to find out that the apartment that I’m moving into is still under construction. And to top it all off,
  • I have a HUGE fat lip, caused by making more poor decisions.

You know what? Typing that out made me realize how awesome my life is. If those are the worst of my problems right now, things are a lot better than they could be.  I’m so used to things just going right that when they go wrong I turn into a wimpering little bitch. Here’s all of the things that are going right:

  • I get to move into a brand spanking new apartment building in the near future.
  • I have job security throughout the year.
  • I’m going to Vegas with my friends on Thursday.
  • I’m beginning my senior year of college.
  • Just…everything.

We never think about that, do we? About how awesome it is just to be alive? We have places to go, places to be, places to escape to, places we dream about. We have things that we love, things that we want, things that we change. We have people to talk to, people to laugh with, people to scream at, people to run to. We have movie theatres and water parks and office buildings and coffee shops and churches and bars and libraries and wi-fi hot spots and music stores and Netflix and animal shelters and local restaurants. These are all things that we feel entitled to, that we feel are normal, that so many parts of the world can only see as the epitamy of luxury.

 So…this brings me back to the karma concept. If it takes a few minor inconveniences to knock me on my ass so quickly, I am clearly not looking at the big picture. Things will work themselves out. They always do. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep smiling and keep trying to do the right thing. What else is there?


You Have Achieved Maximum Slagginess.

•July 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Adventure for the week: went on a road trip by myself without a map.

I was lucky enough to be born into a family of extremely funny people. My paternal relatives are born storytellers and are damn entertaining.  You can never quite be sure of the line between truth and fiction, but in the end, does it really matter? My maternal relatives are witty and sarcastic, and spout off one liners with the frequency and timing of any deadly professional.  Why wouldn’t I want to hang out with these people?

This weekend, the maternal relatives were gathering at an old lakehouse that has been in the family for years.  My own parents couldn’t make it, but I decided to haul off and represent our branch.  Easier said than done.  Apparently, Google Maps doesn’t want people to find this lakehouse, or the lake that it resides by.  There is also no indication of any roads leading to the lake on my trusty map of Montana that has served my glovebox faithfully.  I also have next to no sense of direction. That is why we are going to classify my making it there as an “adventure.”

So I knew the general way in which  I was supposed to be driving to arrive at this lake. I also knew that the drive should take approximately three hours. (One thing that I love/hate about us Montanans…we describe the distance between any two points in terms of time rather than terms of space.) And I was off, heading south.

After an insanely beautiful drive, two turn arounds, three points of construction, and a good six discs of my Stephen King audiobook, I arrived at the lake in three and a half hours. Another half hour to find the house, and I was only an hour behind schedule. And since I was at the lake, who cares about anything as mundane as a schedule?

So after spending the weekend tubing, chasing, kite flying, and laughing, I’d declare that adventure a success. I don’t see the point of getting into specifics (they would all be “you had to be there” moments…although I would say that the freshly coined term “slaggy” to descibe the inside of a roasted marshmellow should make its way into the mainstream lexicon.)

Now I’m back at the office and wondering where summer went. Although I’m sure I’ll find it next week during Scobey, Part 2: Electric Fair Boogaloo. Meanwhile, my adventures will probably all be either walking by the river or Nintendo DS related, if the weather doesn’t let up.

Much love, guys. Much love. Happy Summer!


•July 12, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So guys…adventures. I’ve been having ’em.

Cooking adventure: Homemade spinach artichoke dip. Turned out weird looking, but oh-so tasty. (Don’t think I’ve ever typed the word “tasty” before, which is making me question whether it’s spelled right. Is there an ‘e’ in it? Tastey? That looks dumb. Oh look, I’m actually typing this.) I put waaaaay too much cheese on top, so it didn’t melt all the way. And then it bubbled over and got all swampy looking. But it tasted pretty fantastic.

Other noteworthy adventures…I went home for the Fourth of July. Which was all sorts of amazing. Best adventure of being home (with the exception of watching one of my favorite former classmates sing karaoke) was getting both my kindergarten and second grade teacher to buy me drinks. It was a good weekend.

This week is the last week of summer classes, so I haven’t had a lot of quality adventure time lately. This week is going to be comprised of coffee, all nighters, and a hell of a lot of motivation metal.

Oh, and just a P.S.: Despicable Me is freaking hysterical. And Pharrell Williams is a genius.

Let’s Go On An Adventure!

•June 30, 2010 • 2 Comments

Having an office job has opened my eyes to a lot of hard truths about the world and my place in it.  All of these little truths sum up to one thing: I get bored way too easily to do this for the rest of my life.

Being in an office all day in office clothes having office conversations has given me a real bad case of the stir crazies. These feelings of “lemmeoutlemmeoutlemmeout” have given birth to a new life goal: go on some sort of adventure. Every. Single. Day.

They aren’t all going to be exciting. I’m going to push the bounds of what mundane little tasks qualify as adventures. Here’s my extremely loose definition of an adventure: something I’ve never done before. Everyday, I’m going to go out of my way to do something just a little different. Somedays, it’s going to something small, like trying to make a risotto for the first time. Other days, it’s going to be big, like hiking the Trail to the Sun. Either way, I’m sure going to chronicle the hell out of each and every one.

Yesterday, my adventure was extremely small, but it’s going to count. (Because I’m in charge of what counts and what doesn’t.) Yesterday, I did something that I had never done before. I ordered a glass of expensive, fancy pants wine in a restaurant. It. Was. Disgusting. Yesterday I learned that my palette is not yet distinguished enough to appreciate a vintage pinot noir. Yesterday I also learned that wine might be a fun hobby (when I reach a place of disposable income) if I start at the bottom and work my way up. And yesterday I learned that $7 is a pretty reasonable price for an adventure.

Tonight, I’m going on a cooking adventure. I’m going to make Spinach Artichoke dip for an office pot luck tomorrow. From scratch. This is either going to be a masterpiece or a disaster. But either way, it will be an aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadventure!*

*Cue theme music

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate.

•June 28, 2010 • 1 Comment


Hi guys. It’s been a while. How have you been?

Come on. Don’t look at me like that. I know I haven’t been around, but I’ve had shit to do.

So we cool? We cool.

A lot has changed, guys. There are blonde streaks in my hair. I’m working in an office. Uh…fucking Futurama is back.

Okay, so maybe not that much has changed, but I thought you all at least deserved to know that I’m not dead.  And I plan on actually writing a little more over the summer, chronicling my adventures and what not.

But I can’t promise I won’t forget again. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.


•June 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Yeah, kinda forgot I had a blog there for a little while. Oops. Here’s a few little tidbits because I am way too ADD to actually be coherent.

Well, I’m back home and working my clumsy little fingers to the bone. Due to some paperwork mishaps, my CNA license expired. So now I’m working at the Clubhouse of the Scobey Golf Course, and I love it. So if you’re in Scobey over the next two months and decide to check out our excellent golf scene, drop in and see me. I’ll make you a Paralyzer that will knock your socks off.

I feel a little guilty sitting here writing this right now. It is gorgeous and green out right now. QUICK DECISION: When I’m done here, I’m busting out the swimsuit and my library book and hitting the patio.

I’m sure I’ve talked about this before, but Top Chef. Come on. Brilliance. And now Top Chef Masters? Oh my God. I’ve learned that I love competition shows, no matter how mind numbingly stupid. The same part of my brain that likes Sex and the City draws me back to America’s Next Top Model. And while I hate that stupid show, I still end up sitting through it being pissed off right to the end to see who gets eliminated. I’ve become a freaking demographic. Speaking of TV, last night I was introduced to The Big Bang Theory. Just delightful.

I’m going to try something different with my hair. Still long, but more bangy. Pictures later, but I’ve been known to lie.

So I’ve got these two kittens that I rescued. Named Franklin and Delano (who I call Duffy for some reason.) They are the sweetest babies in the world and frighteningly bring out my maternal instincts. Well, at least I know I have some.

My best friends are in Europe and right now. That’s kind of depressing to me.

Moving sucks. While I’m excited to head back to G-Funk…gosh. Moving. Gross.

Yeah…can’t stay inside one more minute. Later gators

filler post

•April 21, 2009 • 1 Comment

My laundry is piling up and finals are fast approaching. (I don’t know exactly when, because I’m not one to keep track of these sorts of things.) So here I am. With more random thoughts that come in a handy dandy Snapple-fact-bullet-form variety.

~No idea why, but Phil Hartman has been on my mind lately. Which, I realize, is a pretty strange thing to have on my mind. And not SNL or Simpsons quotes. I’ve been thinking about the actual guy and his life and his death. RIP. I guess there are worse things I could have on my mind.

~I’m so close to being done with this year of school, and it’s going to be fantastic. God help me, I’m excited to head back east for the summer. I love me some N-E-Mont. (tee hee.)

~Let’s take a minute here and talk about the ACLU. The reason I like the American Civil Liberties Union is simply this: everyone HATES them. I disagree with a ton of their political stances and they’ve defended a bunch of diabolical people…but that took some freaking guts. Everyone deserves a fair trial, and they’re taking the jobs that they know they’re going to receive hate mail for. Not saying I agree with them on everything they do, but I definitely wish I had that kind of courage.

~The new season of South Park hasn’t been half bad, in my humble opinion. We’ll see how this pirate episode goes…

~Ellipses (…) irritate me.

~New ink! I’m excited for the tattoo stigma to go away.

~Does anyone else get emails from political parties trying to get you to sign up? So far the Republicans have sent me around four, the Libertarians have been emailing me on and off for like six months, and I had to block the Democrats because they were borderline harassing me. I’m sure this has something to do with some of the law things I’ve been involved with, but good grief. I’m not even a big fan of the partisan system, so if you’re trying to recruit me (you know who you are) leave me alone.

~I really enjoy musicals. (Yeah, big surprise.) And the last good one I saw was Dr. Horrible. I’m going through withdrawals.

~I think I figured out what I wanna do with my life. Go me.

~I laid out in the sun today for like an hour and a half. I made a bee friend. It was fantastic.

~I have this fixation with animation. Most recently: Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

WOW my room is a disaster right now. Might should take care of that. (P.S. I’m going buffalo hunting on Saturday. If you don’t know what that means, just wait for my next post. It’s gonna be, to quote Barney, LEGEN-